in the end

i guess my life seems alil dull now with the lack of updates cus.. there really isnt much going on and before i go on about how im supposed to be studying cus blocktest2 GP paper is tomorrow and i conveniently spent my day sleeping and eating away (besides church).. my mind kinda drifted away to some stuffs so..i've been thinking.. about why i have been thinking so much that it stole my supposedly present, state of happiness. then it dawned on me that i havent exactly been very very happy like i was maybe say... 2years ago?

while i can simply say i really think its a jc thing (really) cus everyone seems troubled in one way or another then i realise...isnt it the same for everyone else hmm. funny how i feel so blessed yet pathetic at the same time ha ha now that's pretty ironic ok let me explain. so.. i have a happy complete family with wonderful parents (like the best already) and loving siblings (tho i always feel marginalised when my 2sisters combine forces), im relatively satisfied with my er physical self (sherlyn would prolly say 'dont lie, you how ego' tru tru), im not the dumbest person nor the worse basketballer and violinist nor some socially awkward lonely soul but thereeeee the problem lies. its like everything (k besides my family) is so mediocre, so average so... meh.

then there's this whole other issue on p.e.o.p.l.e like how i havent been truely appreciating some people whom i ought to because they are practically a gift from heaven, yes i realised, and how i shouldnt waste time on people i like wasting time on. its funny what you do doesnt correspond with what you should do but thats the point right.. owells, like annabel said, ''life and its complexities.''