take me take me to the riot

So.. tomorrow marks the end of prelims and guess it spells f-r-e-e-d-o-m for the next say, 4days? i will not go on to complain about how i wasted my day staying home with slight success in productive mugging while the construction workers destroy my house only to make it look better it the near future. Oh guess i just did.

That aside, it was yet another fateful day alone with myself to explore the options i have so as to ease.....coming days being alive... i should quit sounding so maybe slightly depressed or else someone would think that i tripped and fell into the abyss of nothingness.

this morning saw me revisit gossip girl season 1 and how i wish time would rewind to 2010 december where i would spend the whole night, literally, catching up on 10episodes of high school bitchyness, falling in love with pretty people like nate archibald or serena van der woodsen and hating on dan cus he so clearly portray how a supposedly toad gets the princess. though i dont deny he looks better as time goes by.. now what i miss was probably the simplicity of the period with no fleeting cause of worry.

coming back to the present time, i can only say that i do not need any transient guest at my territory because.. i had one (or two or...) too many. its not very wise to place too much feelings and emotions into any particular subject (got to be very tacful here) that you're dealing with lest it creates this whole sense of vulnerability. If i know myself well enough, im not one who's overly sensitive nor emotional/depressed/lifesux/worldsux kinda person but i think the idea of being vulnerabe scares me. It shows how raw someone can be and i believe it takes something impactful enough to open someone this deep. sometimes i scare myself. then and again, the one distinct cause is ''long gone and moved on'' (its just an universally applicable phase) hence the idea of me viewing the ever present flashing images of what i perceive as beautiful will not be very wholesome.

okay back to internalizing south east asia history.